Thursday, 26 July 2012

Stripes and Circles

"I really like this drawing you did. Can I post it on my blog and what should I name it?"

"Yes daddy. You can put on your crazy daddy writings and call it 'Stripes and Circles'. Err... daddy; you know how to spell stripes? It's S T R I P E S."

#facepalm

Is my spelling really that BAD? Sigh…

Anyway, I really like this drawing. How it harmonize 2 different sets of elements. It's great to see the firmness and solidity of the lines complimenting the roundness and flexibility of the circles. And I amazed to see how the hard and passionate red can work alongside with the softy and cooling green.

Err... I don't think my daughter gets it. It should be more of a coincident rather than her intended work. Disclaimer needed before you guys start teasing me self praise. Ha ha ha …

Oh! Isn't the above statement going to get me into trouble with my pretty daughter? Oh man…

The drawing reminds me about life. About how we should balance our expectation on quality of life and it's associated responsibilities, and how we should measure of our happiness as against feeling contented.

Studying and working with people with intellectual disability, it's easier to discover how the lack in perceived quality of life had affected a person's happiness, and how quality of life is measured in relation to our exposures in life. Many people asked why people with intellectual disability seem always asking for more after increased chances in exercising choices. There are many literature and researches on this behaviour. For me, I always explained in relation to my daughter's changes in her expectation. How a bottle of milk, that used to make her very happy when she was 1 years old, is on longer good enough to satisfy her now.

Why?

With exposures in life, she started to learn more and therefore wanted more to feel satisfied. Adults without disabilities, like children and person with disabilities too, felt unhappy and frustrated when their perceived quality of life in relation to their life experiences wasn't met. The reasons why it's clearer in children and person with disabilities are (1) it's easier for us as an external party to observe the behaviour, (2) the above group either experienced a rapid changes or (3) they suffered from prolonged suppression of choices in life.

However, we need to be mindful in our continuous effort of meeting the ever increasing demand of ours and those around us. Failing which, we are encouraging the growth of the greed monster. 

Right?

This is where the responsibilities come in. If we wanted higher salary, we need to accept our increased workload and responsibilities. If we wanted the freedom to go out unsupervised, we need to be responsible to take good care of ourselves. If people with intellectual disability wanted more chances to participate in community activities, they need to have socially acceptable behaviour. There is always a trade off for every incremental enhancement in our quality of life.

Whining, crying, and being angry, venting out our frustration on others for that increased responsibility you need to shoulder is not going to get you anywhere. It only hurts you and others around you.

That brings us to the measurement of being happy that affect our perceived quality of life, and the importance of feeling contented.

Each of us has our own limit of which we can shoulder responsibilities; therefore, it's only reasonable to expect that there is a limit to how far we wanted to enhance our quality of life. Any attempts to keep on enhancing of quality of life so that we feel happy, will only bring us suffering. It's like us on a journey of ever lasting quest; always busy trying to achieve the next target without much time to enjoy the fruit of our hard work.

We need to know that enough is enough so that we can spend time enjoying and sharing our joy with those around us.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

TGIF, it's wonderful!


Photograph of the Marina Bay Sands taken from Esplanade Drive.

The essence is not about the quality of the photograph from my humble Samsung Galaxy Mini running on CM7, but the quality time spent with yt and 小tz strolling along Esplanade Drive, enjoying the scene, relaxing and having a good time on a Friday night.

Monday, 25 June 2012

More than words...


"Daddy, actually you will need to help me wash my towel later after I bathed. But then, because grandma just changed the towel, you don't need to wash it later. Oh man, I forget to take my clothes! Daddy, can you help me take my clothes later? I want the ABC t-shirt with any pants. Just any pants will do daddy. Go to my room, open the second cupboard door, second door daddy, not the first OK? You see daddy, I know how to bath myself. You don't need to help me at all… … …"

And you go on and on, and on, and on… … … . Oh, where is the off switch?
:-P

Well, I cannot blame you for that because I recalled something like this 5 years ago… … …

"小tz, daddy is not an expert, you know right? You must wait huh. Don't urine now OK? Let me finish changing your diaper then you urine OK? Daddy is not like mummy dear, I cannot change your diaper very fast… … …"

And I go on and on, and on, and on… … … All this time, your eyes were wide open staring at me. If you can speak then, will you be saying: "Daddy, where is your off switch?" Ha ha ha… Will you?
;-)


It really made my day receiving that father's day card from you. Thank you dear.

Daddy loves you.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

What is hardship?

小tz,

Do you think a family with 2 teen children, one studying in a private art school without scholarship, earned a family income of $7,000, capable of employing 2 maids to look after one of their bed ridden parent, and staying in a HDB Maisonette to be living in hardship?

This seems to be what it is implied in the documentary I saw recently on our local television channel. In another documentary, a family with a wheelchair bounded father being look after by his 3 adult children, 2 working and 1 studying in our local university, seems to be struggling to cope with life that they don't even have the time to clean their cobweb filled house.

Watching both documentaries, I believed that the stories being told by the tearing and sad family members ought to be true and genuine. Well, at least from their perspective.

What I am concerned and worried is that the scenarios mentioned in both documentaries, were deemed to be well to-do years back when I was still studying in polytechnic. So it leads me into thinking if we have lowered our expectation in defining what hardship meant to us? In those days, studying in mainstream school instead of the private art school, helping to look after their bed ridden parent instead of engaging not 1 but 2 maids, working part time to support their
studies, and sleeping shorter hours to clean up the house are norms in household who are living in hardship.

Before I continue, this entry was written on 17 Jun 2012 and the documentaries I mentioned were viewed a few months ago. Yeah, the slow daddy always writes about history instead of current affairs, right? Well, I have the excuses to work and keep my cute little daughter
company ma. Right? ;P

Why?

Because I am not sure what would the standard be when you are able to read and understand this post. You might even think that daddy is such an unreasonable person with no compassion on the sufferings of others.

Having seen and known that others who fit into the description of those 2 families were called well to-do years back, it's kind of hard for me to accept that those situations are now being classified as families in hardship. It's not about the re-distribution of wealth among Singaporeans that people had been talking about recently. It's not about whether those 2 families require help. And it's definitely not about me trying to judge them with my life experiences and perspective.

It's about my concern that we seems to have slowly and noticeably lost of resilience nature, our ability to withstand hardship and the fighting spirit so much needed for survival.

Daddy can give you the best education I can afford, I can share my limited life experiences with you, and I can support you to the best of my ability when I am still around.

However, I cannot guarantee that I will always be there for you, as daddy can never out live you. I cannot accumulate enough wealth to ensure that you have a comfortable life and not worried about hardship. I cannot replace you in handling those stressful moments in your life. Most importantly, while I would wish to, I am no god to ensure that your life will be smooth sailing.

What I hoped is, by writing this post; you will understand the need to have a strong character, to be brave and to build the ability to fight the challenges in your life.



Your loving and cRazY dAdDy.