Assumption is bad.

A bad person, I am.

For months, I had been secretly laughing at the noodle stall owner. Before the incident, I had seen him smoking, gambling and drinking at the coffee shop where his stall is located. When I notice that his wife no longer come over to help him manage the stall, deep in, I laughed at him for he deserved to be without his wife, to be alone for life. Who asked him to smoke, gamble and drink, I thought.

For months, I have seen him struggling to manage the stall alone. He looks tired, disoriented and lifeless. While I didn't like his behaviour, I still buy my favourite noodle from him. It’s tasty and in anyway, his behaviour had nothing to do with his noodle.

Ok, Ok... I am just addicted to his noodle. Giving me excuses to patronize his stall.

I felt bad last weekend. Felt very bad for being judgmental, very bad for secretly laughing at his suffering, very bad for the wrongful accusation without finding out more.

His wife was there when I ordered my noodle last weekend morning. Her hair was short, almost bald and seems to have just grown from a clean shave. She also seems to be very tired but I can see that she feel relieve and happy to be back.

No, I am not going to judge again. What facts do I have to know what had happened to her? What rights do I have to find out what had happened? What position am I in to judge her? It is bad enough that I had likely made a mistake judging her husband. It would be very bad for me to judge her this time.

How I hoped I have the courage to go up to him to apologize for my bad behaviour. But no, I don't have the courage to admit that I had been secretly laughing at him. What's more, he will likely think I am crazy cause the act of laughing at him only happens in my mind. What I can do is likely to eat his noodle more frequently for now.

Please do not follow my mistake. Don't judge unless you are 100% sure, supported by evidence. In any case, who are we to judge?

I am sorry.

A bad, bad day dream.

Returning home from my morning walk last weekend, I saw a family of 4 jogging. I immediately got attracted to the scene.

Then, observing further, the mother and son was jogging  at a consistent pace in front, while the father and their younger daughter were visibility struggling behind to catch up. Oh NO!!! Please don't let this happen. It's not something I looked forward to.

I smiled for not having to struggle like that father. Not that I am a better runner, but for the blessing that yt and 小tz are not into jogging. I would likely be in a worst off situation if I am asked to jog. yt and 小tz would probably be having their breakfast for hours at the destination, while I am still struggling, not to run, but breathe.

Bad dream. What a bad, bad day dream I had. Stop it! Count your blessing and don't always get attracted to simple and happy living, you crazy daddy. Not everything suits you, you know.

#kokz#

Note: Photograph taken by yt during my last birthday when 小tz and I were crazy showing funny faces and yt was busy snapping away. I am cute, right? *vomit*

Pouring water into a leaking jug.

Why are we pouring water into a leaking jug?

Sometimes, I'm wondering if we should just go back to our old ways in educating our children. While I'm totally supportive of the idea to provide the necessary counselling and guidance to the child that had committed the mistake. Ensuring that the child receives an appropriate and equivalent consequence, is equally important for the development of the child's character.

However, there are people who seem to overtly focusing on the support, overlooking or not giving an equal amount of attention in the delivery of a consequence, and neglected the follow-up with the child and people around the child. There are serious implications resulting from such an approach of overtly focusing on providing support to that child.

Children, when young, are not able to understand what's right or wrong. Until they are matured enough to understand consequences of their bad behaviour, they learn not to do the bad things again through the association of the consequences delivered by the adults. Not giving an appropriate, direct and equivalent consequence, send the wrong signal to the child that it is ok to continue with the wrongful act. After all, by carrying out the act, they were already rewarded with thrill of the act, the physical possession and/or the emotional satisfaction. The non delivery of a consequence only reinforced the behaviour to repeat the act. To make matter worst, giving overtly attention in the form of counselling and guidance created a negative reinforcement towards the behaviour. It further reinforced the behaviour as doing it, the child is rewarded with the thrill of the action, get away with receiving a consequence and rewarded with an overtly attention given to him.

The other issue is the reluctance to communicate to the victim and other children on the wrongful act of the child. I am not talking about public shaming which happens frequently during my time. However, it is equally naive to think that news of the incident stays with the perpetrator, the victim and the educator. Even if the news does stay within the small circle, what signal are we sending to the victim?

It's Ok to do the wrong things. You will not get any punishment; more people will be showing you concern and talks to you frequently?

As parents and educators, are we pouring water into a leaking jug?

What's the use of sharing knowledge and accumulating wealth for the child, when the need to build the child's character was neglected? Without a good character, all those will go to waste. The best we could impart to our children is a good character and right attitude to face life, as we can never outlive them to ensure their path in life is always smoothed regardless of their doings.

Are we still pouring water into the leaking jug?

A fun day going topless.

2nd February 2014, a great and fun day for me! A much delayed post as usual. Anything new?
;P

No, we are not topless, but we were on a bus that is topless! Right, a double-decker bus with its upper deck exposed to the weather. They call it the Funvee Hopper.

It's HOT!

You try moving around Singapore, without air-conditioning and under the mercy of Uncle Sun. Air-conditioning you know. Something we so get used to when traveling in Singapore. Luckily, we got the tickets to travel on it for free. Anyway, the important thing to note, the experience was great and the views were fantastic!  Well, a happy ending from a grumblings start. Hee...

Next, we got our hands dirtied trying to make fruits tarts. I, putting on a girly apron, getting my hands dirtied making fruits tarts!?!? Hey man, this would never ever going to happen years ago! And it happened. Thanks to my little princess for getting her crazy daddy involved in all the girly stuffs. Well, can I say no, darling? Hahahaha... ...

Addition to the above, we also got to meet a very terrific taxi driver along our journey back from the trip. When we boarded his taxi, yt addressed him as uncle and he told her:

"Don't call me uncle lah. It sounds so old; I am not that old you know. Call me mister can leow."

Uncle, first off, the word uncle is a common form of respect addressing strangers who are of certain age. Second, you uncle seems to be flirting with my wife in front of me. Quote a phrase yt always say, "知道死字怎么写吗?" [You know how to spell the word die or not huh?] (yt, 2014).

In any case, UNCLE, you ARE older than us. People my age or younger also called me uncle. Why can't we call you uncle? Uncle, we are your customers and not the other way round hor.

What a interesting taxi driver we have in Singapore.