Shouldering the responsibility of parents.

The train along Circle Line reached Caldecott, its door opened and a young Chinese couple walked into the cabin. The lady was seen holding very tightly to the arm of the trendy, well dressed gentleman. Soothing his hand, the lady doesn't talk along the journey, neither did the gentleman.

At Bishan Station, a motorized wheelchair's siren started buzzing when it reversed itself into the cabin. Everybody in the cabin was shocked, not by the wheelchair's buzzing, but the high pitch and continuous screaming from the gentleman. The lady was visibly troubled by the behaviour of the gentleman. She keeps soothing his hands, telling him:

"Mei mei (sister) is here with you, it's ok kor (brother). It's just the sound from the wheelchair."

It is then that I realised the gentleman may either be suffering from autism or some form of mental health illness. He is blessed to have a responsible and caring younger sister that take good care of him. He is so well taken care of and well dressed that if not for his screaming, nobody will notice he has a disability or illness.

At the same time, I feel for the young lady. For her entire life, she will have to make sacrifices for her elder brother. She will have very little time for herself. She may not get a life partner as not all spouse and in-laws are so accommodative towards her brother's behaviours. And she will continue to be starred at by the public whenever she is out with her brother.

Hope she is strong and have good support.

Daddy, I am the Quiet Captain!

Thursday, 24 Jul 2014.


On my way home, my phone rang and the first thing I heard when I pick it up was:

"Daddy, I am the Quiet Captain!"

Thereafter, she goes on and on about when it happened, her roles as Quiet Captain and the other roles teacher had assigned to her other classmates. I can feel her excitement and I also felt bad for she could only call me, and not share her happiness in person with me. How many more moments I am going to miss with the little fellow? I wonder...

She ended our conversation by saying:

"Daddy, I need to wear the badge every day, I show it to you tomorrow morning when you send me up my school bus!"

That's my girl.


P.S. - By the way, she wasn't that quiet at home. Hmmm.... should I also give her a badge at home? Nah, I will miss her sweet voice if I do so. Haha...

Learning to be a father.

Sunday, 15 June 2014.

It's father day today, and a day of great importance in today’s standard.

I happened to know it through the numerous postings on Facebook, advertisement seen everywhere and most important of all, the preview and greeting from my lovely daughter.

"Daddy, later you cannot see what I am doing, OK? It's a card for an important day. Hee hee... "

As the year’s passes, things changed and so does the way we celebrate father's day and the role of father.

Till I am in my 30s, I have never heard of Father's day, the special celebrative day in the world. Whenever I saw those posts on father's day and how they had celebrated father's day, I am lost with my words. I had never celebrated father's day with my father, and the phrase "Happy Father's Day!" is totally alien to me. However, I am not guilty and I know neither is my father sad about it.

My father is proud for being the pillar of the family, for being able to bring in the money to support the family. His greatest achievement is his ability to support his children to secure a diploma each, despite the fact that he did not have any formal education and he was fighting an illness to live at that time.  He is a sailor and a man with few words, so few that we can count the number of words he says within a year. Well, that's partly resulted from his sailing schedule where he only came home once every 2 years. He did not attend any of my birthday celebrations, which only happens 3 times before I am married (once when I turn 21 and twice planned by my then ex-girlfriend aka. wife). Neither did he attend any of my school graduation ceremonies. He only went to school once with me to apply for school fee subsidy and loan of school text books, when he lost his income due to the illness he had been fighting. During that day, it's the first time I saw him smiling. My teacher was full of good comments about my studies and character. I am happy that day too because I made him proud despite the tough life we had.

Fast forward 40 years later, I am now a father. I am a father that has to face a totally different set of challenges. I played Barbie with my daughter, brought her for her enrichment, dance, art and swimming classes, I changed her diapers, bathed her, combined her hair, talk nonsense to her, and even carry my wife's bag so that she can hold my daughter or free her hands to choose my daughter's clothes during shopping. All of which I had never see my father doing. Without a role model, I am kind of having my on-the-job (OJT) training as I grew to become what it's expected of a new age father.

It's not about I am or my father are a better father. It's how the roles of father had changed with the progress of mankind and under the expectation of the society. It's kind of difficult for men to cope with those changes. I can't look out for the bus while talking to 小tz. I can't talk to her on the phone while I am attending to my work. I can't watch the television programme, do my stuff and talk to her at the same time. In short, I am taught and trained to mono-task. Multitasking like what mothers are always doing is just too overwhelming for me, you know?

The other day, while waiting for my bus, I saw a mother with 2 children seated with her back facing the traffic. She was helping her daughter with her ponytail when her son shouted to her that their bus has arrived. She wasn't panicky, finished the ponytail for her daughter then walked with her 2 children to board the bus. Perfect timing and I was like "How she did that!”. Women, they say.

Are you coping well being a father?

I am struggling with my new role. Happily struggling...

Unlike being at work with a team of colleagues that compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses to complete our daily work, I am alone as a father. I don’t have anybody to share or take some responsibility away from me as a father, and I can’t. Nobody can replace me as the father of my daughter. I guess the only then is to be a good student and continue to learn to be a good father.

Photograph:

We were watching World Cup where the battle was between Iran and Nigeria on Tuesday afternoon, 17 Jun 2014 at SAFRA. 小tz wrote this on my phone and ask me to post it:

We went to watch football at SAFRA, it was so interesting and I like it so much. ThE cRaZy DaDdY’s wife also likes to watch football. I thought ThE cRaZy DaDdY does not like to watch football, but he was watching the football too! The screen is so BIG!!! ~The End~

From 小tz and ThE cRaZy DaDdY.

Note: She took my phone, if I don’t watch football, what should I do?! Anyway, I really don’t like watching football, except to see matches by Brazil and South Korean. Both teams transformed football into an art when I seen them during the last World Cup. We just happened to be there and though why not let her be part of the craze now in Singapore. Haha… 

This may happen to you...

Monday, 19 August 2013, 11:30pm.

As usual, Jennifer was getting ready to complete her writing on her diary after a long day. Taking out her diary, Jennifer realized that she finished writing on the last page of her diary yesterday night. 

"Damn it!" 

Jennifer shouted at herself for not remembering to buy a new diary on her way home this evening.

"Of all days!!! Why must it be today and at this hour that I need a new diary?"

Jennifer again grumbled to herself. In her office this morning, her colleagues had just warned her to go home earlier tonight, as the Chinese Hungry Ghost Festival Month will starts today at 12 midnight. For the entire 7th month of the Chinese Lunar Calendar, the Chinese believed that the Hell Gate will be left open and the ghost will be free to wonder on earth to fill their stomach. Earth will be very crowded after midnight, just like how Universal Studio Singapore is filled with visitors on its first day of opening. 

After 15 minutes of struggling to sleep counting sheep, hunks, and even monies, she remains wide awake. She blamed it on her 10 over years of habit writing diary before her sleep every night, a habit she practices even while she travelled overseas. Remembering that she had an important presentation tomorrow morning, she reminded herself that she can't afford not to have a good rest. After all, age is catching up and she will looks like a vampire if she can't get her rest tonight.

Banging on her ability to protect herself as an ex-police officer, she changed and set off to hunt for her new diary in her neighbourhood.

After walking for some 10 minutes or so, she finally found a bookshop that's still open. Having stayed in Yishun for the last 5 years, she doesn't recalled seeing this bookshop. When she was about to enter the bookshop, her Casio G-shock vibrated, indicating that it is now 12am on Tuesday, 20 August 2013. Or better still, the start of the month long Hungry Ghost Festival.

Walking into the shop, she was greeted by a thin gentleman wearing a pair of black plastic spectacles. With sunken eyes, whitish and pale face, he asked her what she wants in the most eerie voice she ever heard.

After telling him that she was looking for a diary, he asked her to follow him to the row of shelves that display the diary. Following behind him, she cannot help but think that he seems to be floating. Maybe it is because he is too thin and too light, she started finding excuses for her observation.

Scanning through the diaries on display, she found one that she likes very much. The shop owner grabbed the dairy before she managed to take it for a closer look.

"Are you sure you wanted to buy this? This book is the last of its kind!" said the shop owner.

"Yes! Any problem?" replied the determined Jennifer.

"Very well then, young lady. This is a blessed dairy and it will cost you $10. It will bring you good luck for as long as you treat it with respect." the shop owner paused, gave Jennifer the most eerie look then continues...

"Remember! Even if you had finished the diary, do not, I repeat. Do not turn to the last page of the diary, or you will have to suffer the consequence of your foolish act!!!"

Jennifer got worried after hearing that. However, as if a mysterious force had pressed onto her, she just simply can't convince herself to buy any other diary. She paid $10 for the diary and can't wait to leave the bookshop.

Once she reached home, she immediately sat down to write her feeling for the day on her new diary. Unable to overcome her curiosity, she turned to the last page of the diary. On its last page, right at the centre of the page, Jennifer saw 2 rows of words written in bloody red ink. It reads... ... ...

Promotional item:

3 for $10!

-_-|||

P.S. – I heard the Chinese version from a podcast. What I did was translating it into English and localized it for Singaporean. Can’t give credit to the originator as I cannot remember her name and podcast. And… if you feel like throwing bricks, eggs, stone, etc at me, DON’T! It’s not my work, pleasssseeee…. 

;-P