Thursday, 29 December 2011

I want to break free!

I want to break free!

To break away from the usual things I do, to break away from my comfort zone and to break away from being yet another typical father. 

I wanted to be a fantastic father to my daughter, to be in good health to hold my wife's hand till our hair turns grey and to add colours and wonderful memories to my otherwise dull and boring life.

Any suggestion what I should do in 2012? 
;-)

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

小tz and I.

My healthy lunch yesterday, clear soup with egg white, fish and lots of vegetables specifically prepared by 小tz. 
;-)

Monday, 26 December 2011

小tz and I.

Life is having 小tz squeezing next to me on sofa, hearing "Good morning daddy" and reading her a story. 

Oh... I am going to miss this super long weekends ending on Tuesday.

The perfect Christmas.

The perfect Christmas just happened 5 hours ago, viewing the beautiful city skyline, enjoying the soothing sea breeze and listening to the live Christmas songs with the 2 important ladies in my life.

What I want for Christmas is here and I had totally enjoyed it!

Friday, 23 December 2011

yt & Co.

Another limited edition pasta from yt & Co. Heard it is gone after lunch again. 
:’(

MERRY CHRISTMAS Everyone!!!

Waiting for me when I returned home last night, were pieces and pieces of Chinese New Year’s decorations. My lovely wife wanted dragons and 小tz insisted on getting flowers. Hmmm… looking forward to receive flowery dragonsss blessing come this Chinese New Year! 

Hey, Christmas is not over yet! Anybody put up Christmas Stockings? I just needed one big enough to fit an iPhone 4S. If you happened to meet Santa Claus, please remind him to drop by my place.

MERRY CHRISTMAS Everyone!!!

Nope, it’s not too early since I will be busy in the next few days. Santa will be busy and he might just drop by my house earlier. I need to be ready to open my door for him to drop THAT present into my Christmas stocking, you know.  ;P

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Be alive, it’s your life!

A motorized wheelchair driven by a 40+ year’s old man in office wear, with a boy on his lap overtakes me just now. The boy had a visibly deformed left arm. Catching up with them at the coffee shop in front, I saw the pair chatting, laughing and smiling.

Life is short and unpredictable. It is our attitudes towards life that matters.

Be alive, it’s your life!

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Right livelihood.

We live in a world full of people who have impacted our lives. People, who feed us, teach us, help us, love us and give us opportunities to grow. Not all of them are obliged or paid to do those things for us.

To those people that had helped us unconditionally in the past; we may not always have the opportunities and means to repay their kindness. Some suggested paying forward, but others wonder when, where, who and how to pay forward. Rather than cracking our head, Tara Taylor (Source: http://goo.gl/mag/jLuKi) suggested using "we" as our approach when we need to make a decision.

Approaching and making decisions in life with "we" as the major consideration is crucial. If we continue to make decisions with "I" as their core consideration, there will be a day when people around us will see our true colour, our self-centered approach and selfishness. They will ultimately stop helping, supporting and cooperating with us.

"we" = they + you + him + her + I.

That's right. Not just you, him, her and not just helping one person at the expense of others around the person. Consideration ought to be given to the well-beings of others around the person you are helping. Is there any severe implication resulting from your action? When helping others in need, we tend to overtly focus on the person and forget about the implication of others resulting from our action.

I remembered in the year 2000, a friend ever shared his experience in befriending a young ex-offender serving his home detention part of his sentence. One night, his phone rang at 2am in the middle of the night. It was from the boy he was befriending. With a tired, emotionally unstable and crying voice, the boy told my friend that he was out, took drug and had broke his curfew to be home by 8pm. Knowing the boy came from a dysfunctional family, is isolated and does not have any one to turn to for help (the reason why he called my friend, even when he is well aware that my friend may report him), my friend's heart soften upon hearing his plead for help.

My friend struggled over the phone and ultimately found the determination to tell the boy that he will call the Ops Support Helpline, report his offence and advice him to surrender himself to his reporting officer. He shared that it was a difficult decision he had to make because he ended up not helping the boy. The decisive factor for reporting the boy is the importance between giving the boy a chance and the safety of the general public, the "we". The boy had committed an offence and therefore, should receive the consequences and not be sheltered. Moreover, being emotionally unstable and on drug, put the boy at a higher chance of causing harm to others around him. He said that he felt good making that choice; else he would never be able to sleep well knowing that his intention to help the boy may result in others' sufferings.

While we always say that we should help others without any expectation for returns, this is almost impossible. If we continue to help others without considerations for ourselves, we were ultimately burnt out and give up helping others all together. Before we even committed to an action, we need to ask ourselves if we are willing, have the means and ability to take the action. Then, we need to ask if the action taken by us will benefit us. The benefits we choose to receive might not necessary be tangible. It can be the satisfaction we get after the action, or even the happiness we felt after seeing the smile on the faces of those whom our action makes an impact on their life. 

Let’s all practice the right livelihood. If we are not able to help others, if we are not able pay forward, if we are not able to ensure that our decision benefits everybody, let’s just ensure that nobody suffers resulting from the decisions we made.

So anybody out there willing to made a decision that benefits me? ;P~

Friday, 16 December 2011

Passion = work = fun!

My breakfast this morning was interrupted by a voice calling me from the pavement next to the coffee shop. Turning my head, I recognise the gentleman we supported previously. "Mr Ling, good morning." shouted the gentleman, separated by a railing and a strip of grass, standing 2 meter away from where I was seated.

During our short conversation, people seated near me stare and must be wondering what happened. That did not bother the gentleman who only wanted to greet me, the usual thing he does every morning whenever he saw me. For me, while it is not publicly acceptable to shout, I was happily engrossed in the conversation to notice it till our conversation ended.

It is this kind of acknowledgement and greeting that fueled my passion. Isn't it great to have passion = work = fun?

Good morning everybody!

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Ah por and her cars.

Our first few visits to her back in the year 2001, when we started our outreach project to befriend elderly staying alone in one room HDB flats, were unsuccessful.

Fortunately on our third visit (I think, and I must admit that I am starting to forget little details like this. The reason why I started documenting my life… haha), we found her about to enter her house, managed to talk to her and arranged for our next visit.

When we arrived the next time, we saw that her door was opened but chained to leave a small gap just enough for her to see us. Looking into the unit, we saw her seating on a chair about 2 meters away, holding on to a hammer and staring towards the gap looking out at us. Her face brightens up and smiles when she saw us. Thanks to our years of watching Cantonese drama series on SBC, we were able survive the one hour plus visit and know more about her. Her life as a Samsui woman when she came to Singapore, her pride of the red hat she still keep, her bad experience of being robbed at home, the reason for holding on to the hammer and chaining up her door.

Following our first visit, we make it a point to be on time, yes, on time and not earlier for our visits. We tried to be earlier initially, only to discover that she sat herself on that chair even earlier so that she will not miss us. With her hearing lost, she is worried that she can't hear us when we knock on her door.

What I like about her is her attitude towards life and her ever lasting laughter. In our attempt to assure her that it easy for us to reach her block, my friend told her we travel by car. What’s next surprised us when she laughs and told us she is better off with 2 cars! By the word car, she meant the old rusty trolleys that she uses to support herself. One is chained next to the lift and the other kept in her house as spare. She prefers that as against a walking stick or walking frame because she looks fitter and younger, she joked. Besides, she can also use it to collect old newspapers and carton boxes along the way when she walks to sell her second-hand goods in Chinatown.

Being lonely plus the asthma, cataract, high blood pressure, frequent aching and falls, we would expect her to be sad and depressed. But no, not once did we saw her without her sweet smile, including the time when we send her to SGH A&E for emergency treatment due to her asthma attack. She never seeks help from the government and chooses to support herself thought her earnings selling the second-hand goods, old newspapers and carton boxes. She always insisted in making those delicious "kok zai" (peanuts dumping) every Chinese New Years and forced us to take it home. Her way of saying thank you to us for visiting her, bringing her for her hospital visits and reading her letters.

I had stopped visiting her when works get busy in 2006. Whenever I am near Chinatown, I will always remember her sweet smile and the delicious "kok zai". However, I do not have the courage to visit her as I fear that she may had forgotten me and I may be giving her the false hope that I will start visiting her regularly again.

Hope she is getting on fine and still have that sweet smile on her face.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Employees really wanted:

R ecognition,
E xciting work,
S ecurity of employment,
P ay (fair pay),
E ducation and career growth,
C onditions (environment), and
T ruth in communication.

Still grumbling?

那些年… sigh. Those years when we do stupid, obviously silly, illogical things in life that people around us will never approve. Those things that will always puzzled us and make us laugh at ourselves whenever we think about it.

Well, it is not always possible for us to do things correctly the very first time for everything in life. Most of us worked with more than one company in our life time (I already did, 4 for now), some of us have more than one girlfriend before we got married (not me) and a few of us cried when failure hit us (yes, I did). The essence is not about the end product or end result, but the process of doing those things. The sweet smile we have on our faces when we recall those events in our life, and the thought that we had filled our life with the various colourful experiences.

Some of us had grumbled how unfair life had treated us, some regrets with the outcomes of their actions and others held on to the single success and forgotten that life still continues. In reality, we ought to be grateful as we were given the choice and the right to fight for what we wanted in life.

With excuses to protect people with disabilities and illnesses, some of us had deprived them of their rights to choose what they wanted in life. Many were deprived of the choice on the school to attend, the job to take, to even the smallest details of their daily schedules. What is life when everything is controlled, when you never experience failures and when you need to ask permission for everything you do? What is life when you will never learn because you are not given a chance to fail and learn from your mistake?

So are we still grumbling about life?

Sunday, 4 December 2011

那些年...

Passing by River Valley Road a few months ago, I discovered that one of the first few buildings I managed for waterproofing subcontract works in 1995 was gone. Sigh... 那些年 (those years) when Singapore Expo is still at Vivo City and not at Changi / Expo MRT Station (yt, 3 Dec 2011) 的日子. Quoting what my lovely wife said last night, time flies.

The building was special to me because in addition to being the first few projects I managed; it is also the first project that I got the workers to let me try flame-bonding 2 pieces of bituminous membranes together. I was visiting the site during a Sunday and out of curiosity to understand how the work is done, I demanded the workers to let me try. They reluctantly agreed, found an area under the shade of an adjacent taller building, position the membranes and carry the gas cylinder and torch over. The work seems much tougher than what I read on paper and after 30 minutes of trying, I decided to go for my coffee break.

I met our supervisor and foreman at the canteen and follow them back to the roof top to highlight a few mistakes I discovered. When we were up on the roof top, I immediately discovered that the workers had patched the area I worked on earlier with a new piece of membrane, perfectly bonded. My work must be so terrible that the workers worried it will fail the water test and redo it again.

Before I could talk about it, the Supervisor started scolding the Foreman, and then the Foreman turned and scolded the workers. Reducing wastages, a practice I so often preach to maintain profitability of the project. I swear I did apologize for causing that wastage of material, but nobody believed in what I said. I felt bad, really bad for involving the workers and seeing them receiving scolding for the mistake I made.

Ever since that day, I make sure that if I made mistakes, I owned up, apologize and not let others suffer on my behalf. Recently, while helping my colleagues who were dispatched to handle other issues, a mistake occurred and I wrote an email to our working partners, copied to their reporting officer and my colleagues, apologizing for the mistake and thank them for helping out on their side. I believed this time, everybody believes because it was sent using my email account. Haha...

Be it 12 years ago or now, going to the ground occasionally, hands-on and doing the work helps us to be a better planner. If not for that experience 12 years ago, I will never feel the difficulties of what is written on the method statement of "bonding 2 pieces of bituminous membranes together...". Now I am aware that it equates to getting the workers to carry the tools and gas cylinder, climbing 7 storeys on unfinished flight of stairs and working non-stop for at least 4 hours under the hot sun without breaks (which I lasted less than 30 minutes under shades). It had enabled me to have a better understanding when I plan the work schedules and make work arrangements, taking into account the golden period when workers are more alert to start on work which requires more concentration.

While we should get our hands dirty once awhile to experience the work on the ground, we should be mindful that we can never get the true experience of the workers. Examples include the specially chosen shaded work area I had and the magical appearance of the tools and gas cylinder 12 years ago, to the super cooperative reception I experienced now. Due to the nature of our position and work, it will be difficult to duplicate the exact scenario. Nonetheless, it provides us with some experience and understanding, and prepares us to be more receptive to the feedback from the ground.

In the same way, people on the ground should also be cautioned not to expect the frequent appearance and perfect performance of people on the planning board. In order for the team to function, we need different people to focus and work on the different roles. People on the planning board were engaged for their skills in managing and not doing the physical work. I can keep trying and I will never be able to carry a gas cylinder up 7 storeys. But that does not mean I am not good, neither does it meant I don't care about the workers. It is equally important to take note that the time we spent on the ground is also at the expense of our time to be on the planning board, to coordinates and move the team forward.

Friday, 2 December 2011

Living with limited resources, I learnt!

My Samsung Galaxy Mini is much better than iphone 4S and Samsung Galaxy S2! In addition to the functions that is compatible to both phones, it is also capable of teaching me the concept of opportunity cost, the importance of resource allocation and remind me to be constantly on a lookout for innovative ways to do more with less resources. Great Right!? This is such s wonderful phone that teaches me how to survive in the real world out there where resources are always not enough? ;-)

Right, I am complaining having to maximize 160MB of internal memory with apps to fulfill my work and entertainment needs. Will there be any kind soul out there? I will be good, I promise. I will be happy with just iphone 4 or Samsung Galaxy S. :-P

Now, that's my music!

Love jazz, hate rock.

Thanks to my former secondary school band instructor and an old friend, I was given the opportunity to listen to a variety of music. I had always enjoyed listening to jazz and get frustrated with rock. Maybe it's my character, maybe affected by the approach I adopted in life, or maybe as simple as my misunderstanding that had resulted in me loving jazz and hating rock music. 

ORGANISATION 

Listening to rock music, one must be prepared to face with blast after blast of explosions with each instrument trying to be louder than the other. There is no break, no slowing down, no changing in tempo and one must be expected to face that for the entire duration of the music. 

Jazz give people a very soothing feeling, the thought that the pieces are well planned with the idea to prepare its audience towards its highlights. There is a mixture of highs and lows within each pieces of jazz, as if it understands that its audience requires a mixture of pace, excitement and be given time to rest and in preparation to enjoy its highlight. Even when it's low are presented in a fast tempo, one can feel that it is communicative, empowering, involving and never pushy.

CREATIVITY 

Most jazz pieces have a segment for improvisation where the lead musician choose how and what he likes to play. There is only guided time frame for the musician to present his or her creativity. There are no music scores, no preference nor limitation in the octave chosen. This somehow added to the enjoyment and fun in listening to jazz, where the same piece can sound differently when it's played at different locations, at different time and/or by different musicians. Interestingly, that segment for improvisation need not be handed by a particular instrument; the same segment can be presented with improvisation by the saxophone, the vocal, the bass, the piano and even the drum set.

With rock, the musicians tend to follow a strict music score, tempo and approach. Musicians are hardly allowed to improvise. While this ensures standardization, it curbs creativity and therefore limits the presentation and marketability of the music.

LEADERSHIP 

Typically with rock, the leader of the band set the tempo and stops the band towards the end the music. It is common to hear the drummer hitting 4 beats or the leader shouting the beat to start the music. 

Jazz had a slightly different approach in my opinion. There are variations where different instrument leads with different style on different pieces. Sometimes it started with the drummer providing the basic beats, sometimes the saxophone will start with an improvisation and sometimes the vocal will leads the audience to start the piece in unconventional ways. With jazz, it is always the official leader taking a back seat, facilitating and leading the team to decide whom to be the leader and in what approach or style should the music be represented.

TEAMWORK 

There is always the blurring of sound in rock music; possibility resulted from the loudness of the pieces and the intention for each instrument to be louder than each other. It is difficult to differentiate the instruments and notice how each contributed towards the formation of the music.

I am always amazed by the ability to clearly listen, the contribution of each instrument and yet fascinated by the end result in jazz. Whenever there is a segment for improvisation, the other instruments carry out the supportive roles of providing the basic rhythm in a subtle and non intrusive manner. This gives the lead instrument the freedom and opportunity to improvise.

Now, that's my music.

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Yahoo!!! What a beautiful scene!

The old lady I mentioned in my last posting that used to struggle and walk with difficulties to the coffee shop near my block. The old lady I saw with a maid on my way to the market. The same old lady I saw this morning after my Tai Chi session, seating at the coffee shop having her breakfast.

Replacing the maid was a middle age Chinese lady. Is she her daughter? Comforting was the sight that the middle age lady was seen assisting the old lady with her bowl of soup noodles.

What a beautiful scene to start my day! Good morning everybody!!!

:-D

Games and being judgmental, me!

I am addicted to not 1, but 2 stupid games.

That is what I first thought when I saw people playing those games. How stupid can a person be, staring at the tiny phone screen, throwing birds on structures and killing pigs? How boring is it to park airplanes and helicopters on an airfield? I am sure there better, more meaningful things to do than playing those games. The thought keep surfacing in my mind. Not saying it out and not telling people playing those games because it would be judgmental and against the training I received. Anyway, thinking about it even without saying aloud is already being judgmental. Yes, whether it has been said or not, having those thoughts had already affected my perception of people playing those 2 games. Now, are we talking about theory versus actual practice?

The person, who laughs at others will ultimately, be the last person to be laughed at. That happens to be me when my daughter requested for the 2 games, Angry Birds and Air Control to be downloaded so that she can play on my phone. Now, not sure if it is her games or mine since I ended playing it more than she does. Yes, I am addicted to the 2 stupid games. Whenever I am played those games on the train, subconsciously I would look around and I cannot stop wondering what others think when they saw this 40+ old man playing such childish games. Retribution... Haha.

To be fair to both games, only when I start playing, then did I notice the challenges and excitement they brought to me. For Angry Birds, in order to proceed to the next level, I need to know the strength and weaknesses of the different type of birds and the structures the pigs erected, before I can be successful in destroying the structures and killing the pigs. For Air Control, it is about mapping and planning the routes, taking into consideration of the characteristics of the airfield and airplanes to achieve safe landing for the airplanes. So while the games look simple, I need some thinking before succeeding and proceeding to the next level.

So what did I learnt from this? Well, next time if I heard anybody saying "I understand how you feel", I will say it is all bullshit! No amount of knowledge and logical thinking entitle us to say those words. Human beings can never be logical. Moreover, even if one had gone through the same experience, he is still not entitled to say those words. We have different upbringing, different character and different support mechanism so nobody can have the same feeling and ever earned the right to say "I understand how you feel".

I had learnt that no amount of effort will be helpful unless I am determined to stop that addiction. I also learnt that once I determined and found a solution to stop addiction, the period I get addicted to those games gets shorter. I no longer play Air Control as frequent and unlike Angry Birds, I had yet completed all the levels.

Oh, I just brought 小tz to watch the Angry Birds show at Ngee Ann City last Saturday. Ops! Hey, 小tz wants to watch, not me. Hee...

Thursday, 24 November 2011

小tz and I.

“1, 2, 3 and 4 fishes. That’s all I am going to share with you daddy, because you are naughty today.”

Just 4 tiny white-baits for a plate of rice! OMG!!! Lucky it is a plate of fried rice and not white rice. Oh no… life is going to get tougher.   
:’(

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Growing old...

While walking to the market for my breakfast last Sunday, I saw the old lady that I see every night, struggling and walking with difficulty to the coffee shop near my block for supper.

It is very unusual to see her in the morning. Even more unusual were her neatly combed hair, clean and tidy dress, and the addition of a young lady holding her and walking next to her. My guess is that the young lady is likely a maid engaged by the old lady's children to look after her. Her live seems to be improved as she looks better, neater and walk faster with the support from the young lady.

However, she seems to be leaning on the young lady for support and I wondered if the presence of the young lady create an over dependence for the older lady. Will the old lady's fighting spirit and dignity disappear with the appearance of the young lady? After all, I had seen her struggling since I moved in 6 years ago. She had been surviving and I don't recall seeing her children. Why the sudden change? Are those changes requested by her? I am not in a position to judge as a stranger, but I thought, the picture would have been much beautiful if she is seen with the younger lady, her children and even grandchildren. Maybe they did visit her and have meals with her, but I happen not see them.

In this current fast pace, money and time demanding society, people hardly have the luxury of time to spend with people they loved. It also seems that some of us had forgotten how to love and we substitute it with fulfilling the materialistic needs of people we love, feed them with health supplements and provide alternative care with the employment of a maid.

This had been so commonly practice that people we loved too, either accepted or mistaken those as the signs of love. Sometimes, those practices become so habitual that people continue to practice them into their old age. Only when the practices were administered on them, then they realized that it cannot substitute love. A thought so commonly shared by many elders I befriended when I volunteered with a group looking after the needs of destitute elderly staying alone.

Fortunately or not, I do not have the capability to fulfill materialistic needs and neither am I able to engage a maid to provide alternative care. So for me, I am back to the tradition method of spending limited but quality time with my daughter. I am enjoying every single moment of my time with my daughter.

Back to the topic of aged care, I would rather struggle and take my time to complete my daily tasks then to have my freedom, rights and dignity taken away from me when I am old.

Heard that 小tz? I know that comes your time, you may be faced with an even more demanding work environment and you too, need to maintain good work-life balance with your family. So daddy is fine staying alone with mummy but do have meals with us so that we know you are well.

小tz and I.

小tz: Daddy, can you put more new games in your phone?

Me: My phone does not have enough space to put in too many games, unless I take away some of your older games. Ok?

小tz: Ok daddy. Take away the piano, guitar and tunnel games and put in 3 new games can? Remember, I want the car racing game.

Me: Ok darling.

Monday, 24 October 2011

小tz and I.


"Daddy, this is the second time you make that funny face. If you do it again, I am going to write it down on your naughty book. Mummy is going to punish you and not allow you to go out with us."

Wa! So much for encouraging 小tz to write. Poor me receiving intervention at home. Sigh~

Hey, wait! That means I can sleep, Sleep and SLEEP all day! Hmm... let's make sure 小tz see it when I make that funny face again. Haha... 
:-P

Talking about effective intervention. 
;-)

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Angry Birds, yippee!!!

Yeah! Completed all stages in Angry Birds!

Measuring Happiness.

In-line with the recent talks on using happiness as an indicator for measuring Singapore's success, may I suggest that we should all stop addressing others as uncle and aunty.

Reminding a person that he is old, may create unhappiness and accelerate the onset of dementia. Having a bigger group of unhappy citizens reduces our ability to achieve good GDP too! Right? 
:-P

Ok, I admit I am unhappy this morning, and I must say that going to the market can be very damaging to a person's emotion well-being. 
:’(

Friday, 21 October 2011

Jazz, I LOVE it!!!

Wow! It's great to skip rock and techno. Really love to hear the jazz tonight. Soothing and definitely energised to face the tough challenge ahead!!!

Monday, 17 October 2011

Living life, living now.

If today is my last day on this earthly world, I would like to take an interest on myself and not create events and be depended on others to show interest in me. I would not be depended on the external stimulus from a sms reply, a facebook posting response or an email invitation. I would pay attention to every single thing I do to receive calmness into my frequently multi-tasking mind. I would want to enjoy the details of the scenery along my way to work, smell the morning freshness with every single breadth I take, enjoy the fragrance of every single sip of tea I drink, listen to the wonderful music perform by the insects while having my morning taiji practice and feel the texture of everything I touch.

If I only have 24 hours to live, I would want to squeeze in as many seconds of happiness I can gathered and not be bothered by the unhappy moments in life. For every second of recalling and getting affected by the unhappy moments and events, I had a second less in my remaining 24 hours to enjoy and recall happiness. I would forgive people who did not honor their words, people who hurt me and people who use me. I would not be bothered by noises in life, the sarcastic remarks, the gossip and the rumors about me. I would live life the way I wanted and not the way others wanted.

If I am living my last day today, I would like to be remembered as the person that bring happiness to others. I will show kindness not only to my loved ones, but to everybody around me. I will bless every single person that needs to move on to pursue their goals in life. I would let go of my memory of those that had left me so as to focus my energy on those that are still alive. I would share whatever limited knowledge I has acquired during my life so that it can hopefully benefit others and make them happier.

If I live each day as if it was my last like what Steve Jobs had always said, I would have found the key to happiness through living and enjoying in my present life. Reminding myself that I will be dead helps me in making major decision in life. Everything, everything including expectation, pride, embarrassment and failure disappear with me after my death. If I am going die all those is going to be gone, why then should I be affected by their presence. There are no more excuses not to follow my heart.

While I would try to live each day as if it was my last, there are days when I reflected and discovered that I had not being successful. I must admit that there are events happened that I simply can't let go. I am after all, still a human being living in this earthly world. 

So is today my last day? 

CHOY!!! 

Well, maybe, it may be, because we are not the controller of our life. Cause life in itself is a change agent and the world need new, energetic and vibrant people to continue the work left by others. And accident can happen to anybody, anytime.

But no, not for me now as unless accident do happen, life had been kind to me and there is no indicators that my health is going to be worst.

Good news or bad news? I am not bothered cause I live my own life.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Only if...

On my way home yesterday, I bumped into a pair of teens couple with Down syndrome, holding hands and walking ahead of me. Sweet is the only word that came to my mind then. I confess that I detour from my usual route just to enjoy this rare sweet scene, seeing that the gentleman wasn't attempting to be very intimate and close to the lady. He was just gently holding her hand, with no other body contact between them, frequently turning his head and acknowledging what the lady says. A big contrast to the usual scene where young guys without disability was seen hugging very tightly onto their girlfriend with frequent movement of hands all over their girlfriends' body.

While being engrossed in this romantic scene, images flash across my mind and I pray...

I pray that the couple ahead of me have strong supportive parents who are aware that the couple would require support throughout their life. They will need support from time to time when they face difficulties in work. They will need support when situations changed throughout their life stages. They need support in handling legal matters, in money matters, in financial and family planning.

I pray that they have access to professional counseling to know the implication of being together and their path ahead.

I pray that the community will accept them as a couple and gave them their blessing.

I pray that the couple will be sensible enough to know that their path ahead is not going to be easy and life is no longer just play and eat. They will need to work hard, eat healthily and exercise regularly to provide for their future. While life span for people with intellectual disability had lengthen, we are also seeing more cases of them suffering from chronic diseases such as diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure resulting from the lack of exercise, unhealthy and uncontrolled eating.

Maybe I am too sensitive. Maybe they are just friends without any plan to get intimate and get married. Maybe they have all my worries sorted out. Maybe...

For now, I can only hope that people are more supportive towards people with intellectual disability. Understand that they need our empathy more than our sympathy in supporting them through their life stages.

Monday, 3 October 2011

小tz and I.

小 tz: "Daddy, can I sit on your legs?"
Me: "Should I sit on the stool so that you can sit on the sofa?"
小 tz: "No daddy. Can I sit on your legs?"
Me: "There are so many places to sit, why must you sit on my legs?"
小 tz: "Daddy... because I love you."

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

The Crazy Daddy.

Dear 小tz,

Oh... should I call you Fairy Godmother, Little Miss Chatterbox or Strawberry Shortcake? You keep changing your name so it's kind of difficult for me to catch up with the changes, you know?
:-\ 

Sometime last month, you asked me this funny question: "Daddy, why are you always so crazy? Are you born crazy?" At the back of my mind, I was thinking you, my little princess, had yet to look at your daddy's facebook and google+ photographs and postings. Talking about being crazy... Hee hee. 
:-P 

Ok, back to your question of me being crazy. No, I wasn't born crazy. In fact, long long time ago (like what you always says), like some 8 years ago, I was a pretty serious person. However, being serious has its disadvantages. You know one of the disadvantages when you replied that you prefer me to be crazy rather than being serious. That's right, nobody wanted to face a serious looking person, be it at work or at home. Moreover, being serious, or rather, being a perfectionist, a person that demand great expectation, a person that blame himself for not achieving targets in life and a person that gets angry at others for not performing, can be very stressful. Stress, is a very dangerous element that affect you and others around you. It brings down your health and it isolates you from people around you. I had been through that and I seriously hoped you need not go through the path.

Life is short! Whether you like it or not, there bound to be failures and unhappy events in life. So would you rather be crazy like daddy, laugh at my mistake, learn from it and move on, or be very bothered by those events and be stuck in life? We only have a few 10 years in life, what attitudes you adopted to face life affect its outcome, your happiness.

Having said that, I am not telling you to be laid back, not do anything and just enjoy life. I better be clear before your mummy kills me... Ha ha.
:-P 

I planned. There is lots of thing in my life, both at home and at work that wouldn't happened without planning. However, not everything that was planned runs smoothly as I had expected. In such instances, I choose to learn from my mistakes, be crazy, laugh at myself then move on in life.

So, no, I am not born crazy. And yes, I am crazy. Hee hee... 
;-)

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Monday, 12 September 2011

中秋快乐!

中秋节,一个我最喜欢的节日。祝大家中秋快乐! Happy Mid Autumn Festival! Yay!!!

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

平凡是福。

平凡是福。前几天和家人看电视剧时,剧中女主角 "平凡" 在讲解她的名字时说: "我的名字代表着我对人生的想法。平凡认我能够享受人生,不需要为别人忙,没有名利,也少了斗争。 平凡是福“。 一个多么完美,充满浪漫的答复。

其实当我们说平凡是福的但而,就已经意味着有不平凡的存在。 不平凡不一定是不好。 如果没有不平凡的事和人,这世界就不会有改变和进步。如果说平凡是福,到不如说平凡心是福。 好比以前的刘备和甘地,因为有一个平凡的心,不自豪,愿意聆听,才有这么多的支持者。 如看现在,陈伟联就应该也是带着平凡心生活。

在思考着如何整理我对这四个字的想法时,老婆正在听着陈伟联的歌曲。 伟联的歌陪我们走过人生一个很重要的里程碑。从女朋友到老婆到小宝贝的出生,我们可是他的忠诚粉丝。喜欢的不只是他那充满磁性带点鼻音的歌声,更重要的是他对待人生的态度。 他一直用着平凡的心对待自己的起起落落。从不骄傲,不大牌,不自己为是,也不乞求同情。补上一点,这只是我个人对伟联的想法。身边也有一位朋友也是一样用着平凡心看待人生。从一个主管, 半退休后当个小员工,她不带着以前当主管包袱,不自己为是,而是从新理解新环境,随着新主管的要求做好工作。平凡心让人们随地而安,能弯能伸,快乐生活。

平凡的生活我也过了几年,但最后还是想突破平凡。原因有四。一,平凡在我们这个圈子很难养家糊口,因为薪水太低。要平凡就当不了好老公和好爸爸。二,不记得在那里,在什么时候听到这样一个对话:

小孩: “爸爸,小明住大房子,有大汽车!“
爸爸: “那是因为小明他爸爱读书, 有上进心呀。“
小孩: “爸爸,那为什么你不爱读书, 也没有上进心呢?“
爸爸: “... ... ... “

虽然我不是大人物,也没有钱。 但我还是想做个好榜样,读书求上进啊! 三,我的人生旅程虽然不能像刘备,甘地和伟联这样有着鲜艳的色彩。 但我也不想这一生一片空白,平平淡淡的过。 再过几个十年之后,当我回望笑看人生时也不费此生。 四,小时家里的环境不是很好。要不是有人帮助,也不会有今天的我。现在虽说是回报社会,看到客户的笑容,处了快乐也多了一份满足感。

记录这段话,一来是希望小宝贝长大后 google 一下就能对她老爸有多一点了解。再来,在我老到连我的 password 都不记得时,至少还可以回味我这生的点点滴滴。

我会继续坚持用平凡心去突破平凡,为我这平淡的旅程上添加一点色彩。你呢?

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

小tz and I.

小tz: "Daddy, is the soup oily?"
Me: "Yes dear."
小tz: "Aiyo, then don't drink so much!"
Me: "Ok."
小tz: "Last spoon for you, ok?"
Me: "... ... ..."

Now mummy got daddy a new dietician. :'(

Monday, 29 August 2011

Sweetness!!!

Oh... Sweetness is coming over the next few days, free from work (hopefully) to be with my family. Love it~

Pick and mix.

Pick and mix. Isn't this the best to be able to pick and mix the best things in life? The question is who is going to accept the worst in life? If it's turn taking, can you accept it if it's your turn to accept all the bad things in life? Let's all accept what life give us, accept the challenge, learn from our mistakes and enjoy the not so frequent sweetness.

Happy Hari Raya!

Happy Hari Raya to all who are celebrating! :-)

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Yawnzzz...

Wondering who is still awake? He is kooning soon. yawnzzz...

Saturday, 27 August 2011

Sleep?

To sleep or not to sleep?

Results...

Another night of waiting...

Oh...O!

Oh NO! I think I'm addicted to Angry Birds!!!

Vote!!!

What it symbolises when it rain today? Well, it's telling us to be relaxed, have a clam mind to vote for that important person. Caught you! No, it's not going be gloomy day. :-P

Friday, 26 August 2011

Argghh... maintenance challenge!

Contradictory to what we always think, activist challenge to change values and believes in proposing new approaches and/or changes is much easier than a maintenance challenge.

Zzz...

Aiyo... Raining! Such nice weather to sleep... Zzzz... :'(

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

中秋节快乐!

Hand-made lantern using recycled NewWater bottle for my daughter. Reminding me of the old days when there is no ipod, ipad nor iphone. The days when I had to assemble my A0 size drawing stand using angle bars brought from hardware stall. 中秋节快乐!

Good morning!

Lying on the sofa, enjoying the moment of peace and catching up with my reading. A good start to a wonderful day. Good morning everybody!

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

yt & Co.

Limited edition of salmon porridge from yt & Co.

Sigh...

Missed the days when I am on the ground in touch with the people I am supporting.

There is always the debate on direct against management works in supporting people with disabilities. It's not an easy job and there were many occasions when I almost wanted to give up. Hope my little contribution in supporting the direct care staff can have a greater impact on a bigger group of people. Thanks for the support guys!

123 & ABC

If people are as simple as 123, the world will be like ABC, and I will be happy eating just kaya loti plus kopi.

Monday, 22 August 2011

Inner peace.

One hour of Tai Chi, one hour of meditation, doing just one thing and finding stillness in inner peace.

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Too sweet not good!

A conversation between a blur volunteer and the elderly destitute he is befriending long long time ago ...

Volunteer: "Mr L, you must be very strong to be able to survived all this by yourself."

Mr L: "Young man, life is just like eating, too much sweet food give you other problems like diabetes and high cholesterol. With sour and bitterness, you will enjoy the occasional sweetness. Else you ended up eating sweeter food to be able to taste the sweetness. You want me to get diabetes ah?!"

Friday, 19 August 2011

Yippee!!!

Accidental weight reduction - now at 71.1 kg! Thanks to my running nose, his friend cough, the recent heat from within and out of my body. Yippee!!! ;-) 

Err... Wait, thought my best was 70.80 kg? :-P

The great leader with little skills.

Liu Bei was not charismatic, can't give wonderful speech, not as clever as Zhu GeLiang, not as skill as Guan Yu and definitely not as brave as Zhang Fei in war. What's made him such a successful leader that his followers still follow his vision after his death?

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Real leadership.

Leadership is not about using authority to instruct people to follow a false set of tasks. It is about mobilising people together to face challenges and reality. - Dean Williams

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Happiness is...

Happiness is receiving a call and hearing "爸爸、我爱你!"

Monday, 15 August 2011

Ah~ why are you running away...

I tried counselling him to bear with it for another 15 days, reward him with shorter working hours, and even uses medication. But, but... he still insist of running away. Sigh ~

Can someone please suggest a good intervention plan? Oh... please help my running nose.

Sunday, 14 August 2011

On winning...

There are many ways to fight a war. Direct confrontation may requires the least time, but it uses double the resources, resulted in more casualties, increases enemy awareness and hardly win the war.

Life's 4D.

4238, 4D for coming Singapore Pool draw? Maybe. One thing for sure, this set of number will hit most people but for some, and very unfortunately, they may have some or all their first three digits replaced with 0. So will you be buying 4238 for the coming draw? ;-P

Saturday, 13 August 2011

What a great prayer!

Heard this prayer in a temple: "God, please help me convince everybody that the great mistake I made is theirs, and they should thank me for pointing it out."

I don't know what to say... REALLY! 
:-\