Sunday, 17 March 2013

Happy Birthday to ME. Yeah, belated... as usual.

Opening my Facebook after a wonderful day out with yt and 小tz a few weeks ago, I was delighted to see so many birthday greetings from friends and colleagues.

But nothing as great as this I saw on our refrigerator door. My sweet little daughter greeting his daddy, me, happy birthday.

小tz is very much like me, to a greater extend, like yt too. A person that doesn't talk much and not expressive in words. While she would talk and talk in our presence as against strangers, she is still shy in expressing her inner feelings, especially towards me. Her mother likely heard her saying "I love you" more than I do. But deep down, I know she always uses her unique way to show her appreciation towards her crazy daddy. Waking me up and lying on my soft fatty stomach on days when I can wake up later than her, asking her mother when daddy is coming back, drawing little pictures for me and in this instance, greeting me happy birthday in her unique way.

Some may argue that such characters may hinder her progress in the future and how being "anti-social" like her daddy may limit her opportunities in life. I agreed. However, it's ultimately her life and not ours. We can guide and equip her with the knowledge and skills. But it's her who decide what she wanted in life.

Is success more important than happiness in life? What's more, who should be deciding on that choice?

Success and happiness is like how a person choose to run. On a treadmill or out in the open. To be forced to run to keep up with the speed of the machine, or to have the freedom to slow down, enjoy the scenery and stop to rest when needed.

We always wanted our young ones to have the best in life. To be equipped to face challenges in life. To select a path we felt it's right for them. To think that they will always be happy with our arrangements. The problem is we, it's always we and most of the time, non of their thoughts were considered.

While I am grateful to my father for all that he had given me, at 45, I am still wondering why I am drawing straight lines in architectural drawings instead of drawing comics and designing advertisement artwork. Why am I not given a chance to play saxophone in the pub, or be like him to travel around the world on board a ship. Not that I am unhappy with my current situations, but wouldn't it be better to be given a chance to experience and decide what I wanted in life.
Having said that, it will be irresponsible of me to just let 小tz decide whatever she wanted when she don't even know her options. As parents, we should educate and provide opportunities for them to try different things in life and be equipped to make informed decision, and face the consequences thereafter.

Yeah, those who know me at work will never believe that I am the anti-social type of person. You see, I chat, and chat, and chat at work. Well, that's an informed choice I made at work because I understand the importance of communication, the need to understand others viewpoint and the wonderful results from a great team. That's a decision I made when I started working and it's my choice.