Saturday, 3 March 2012

"Daddy, can you come home earlier?"





小tz,


The other day while I was working late, you called to tell me what you did in school and how you have enjoyed yourself after school with mummy during outing. Before you ended your call, you asked: 


"Daddy, can you come back earlier? Why you always work and worked until very late?"


This, together with your other usual question:


"Daddy, can you put down the phone and play with me?"


has been troubling me ever since you started to ask them. The actual reason is much more complicated than what I had always told you. It is not as simple as earning an income to support you and mummy.


As usual, I am writing it here so that in case I had forgotten to tell you when are older, or when you no longer wants to hear my nagging, you are still able to find the answer when you wanted.


I had been speaking about the right livelihood in my earlier post. Taking up this job before I court mummy, is also about this and about paying forward for the help I had received previously. I am always thankful to mummy for allowing me to keep the job and support my desire to pay forward.


To others in the commercial sector, not answering a call or sms, not working late or over the weekends may result in them for not able to submit a report, losing a sale or the very most losing their job. For daddy, not doing those may result in a delay in taking an action that affect the life of another person or even the entire group of residents with disability under our care. It is simply too great a responsibility to simply ignore.


Having said that, I am equally guilty for not being able to spend more time with you and mummy, fulfilling my responsibilities as a husband and father. 


Recently, I am guilty when I was at the void deck answering a work related call, leaving mummy at home to cope with the bad news she received. I am saddened for not able to support mummy and you, busy replying my sms when we were looking for a resting place for Gong Gong. I am frustrated for having to answer a call when I visited Gong Gong at the hospital. I felt bad for discussing cases and signing documents at Gong Gong's wake.


小tz, those are necessary as I had mentioned earlier for the well-being of the people under our care at work. I take this opportunity to apologies for those disruptions and having arranged for some of them to happen. 


I really am looking forward for you to grow older so that daddy can share those with you over a cup of tea.


Oh! I am delighted to find out that teh-o-kosong is selling at $0.60 at our place as compared to Hougang. Hee...


I wanted you to know that I will always love you and mummy.